1 post tagged “bad shoes”
Sweet Holy Moses on Buttered Toast (as the gofugyourself girls would say) -- could there be a worse footwear trend right now than the spreading plastic plague that is the Croc and all its vile knock-offs? I am not saying that I didn't buy Hannah a red pair with a collection of fun, matchy socks to go with them. I am not saying that they are not appropriate for say an adorable small child or a chef (in his kitchen), or nurses/docs (while wearing their scrubs) or even, listen now, gardeners (as they are actually weeding)....but why, oh why do we now see them on everyone from dear sweet grannies out for lunch to CEOs in the workplace to teenage boys in high school parking lots to everyone else who should not be wearing the Mickey Mouse-like abominations as if they are real shoes?
The Croc scourge reminds of the last hideous inappropriate shoe outbreak...remember back when aqua "socks" were invented...to wear while swimming or wading? And then all these arseholes thought since they worked so nicely while say navigating the mucky bottom of Lake Buttscratcharoo, heck, maybe they could be worn every-dingdang-where.....
And while I'm laying waste to the Croc, can I say that I find the Ugg boots also particularly heinous, and not just because Pammy Anderson likes to slip them on in the heat of the summer, with say a terry loincloth covering her birth canal and a bandana to barely rope in her silicone fun bags...or because Brittany "Hey Y'all, I am on a Cheetoh and Colt 45-induced downward spiral" Spears is oft seen schlepping about LA in stained baby dolls, bad skin and dirty Uggs....no, I hate them because not only are they being worn by the wrong people for the wrong reasons in the wrong places, but because they always look slovenly. And it behooves even sluts and crackers to look neat in public.
Don't go hatin' on me now if you own some of these eye-burning, soul-sucking, mind-numbing shoes....I too have made many a fashion blunder....like getting carried away last summer with a few pairs of wedges that had clearly gone over into the Hoochie Mama category (I gave them away) and a collection of flip flops that boggles the mind...but eventually I do come to my senses and am forced by common sense to concede that the fraying Reef flip-flops are not appropriate for say my wedding day, and move into saner territory.
Lets all try to be better people with our shoe choices...it will help the Bitter L by giving her less to up her meds over.
