thebitterlinguist’s blog

Joseph at 15

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:21:10 -0700

It is hard to believe. Yesterday Ethan (my son who died in infancy) would have been 17...and Joe is fixin' to start his sophomore year. Ben no longer lives at home. And Johnny starts culinary school in a few short weeks. I feel time falling away from me the way massive sheets slide off the arctic shelf and go crashing to the sea.

mr. fun

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Back to Brown

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:41:03 -0700

I went back to brown last winter.....and got the inverted bob...the kate gosselin look. I took this photo on lifeframe last night to update facebook, which is where I mostly spend my time. But now that I write fulltime I realize I need my blog. I have mined so much from it for my book. So I am back.

lifeframe made my nose look big

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Crankypants

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:54:57 -0700

pinchers are good

I am feeling really crabby this week....been boozing too much and not getting enough sleep and scraping plates at the Scottish Rite...and having to tell the boys over and over I have no money for whatever it is they are mewling for. I started an essay on them this morning entitled "My Children Were Given A Lifetime Supply of Little Bastard Kits At Birth."

So last night, someone made the mistake of saying that something I said was "silly talk." Mind you,he didn't say I was silly, but something in the things he had been saying to me prior to that were irritating me. I was hungover, cranky, my hair was vibrating and I had just before crawling into bed next to this person noticed his dirty drawers on the bathroom floor..where they can always be found. So after he made the mistake of thinking outloud instead of just waiting quietly til the beast was lulled into an uneasy snore...I laid there a bit mulling a comeback.

"Just for the record," I said, winding up. "I am a lot of things. You can call me a drunk, a bitch, a bad driver, a spendthrift, and a poor loser. But one thing I am not is silly. Just for the record."

"Are you mad at me?" he said surprised.

"Oh no," I said. "Just clearing that up."

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Let the Right One In

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 18:38:15 -0700

Elee has been 12 a long time

A couple of weekends ago two of my girlfriends asked me to go see a Swedish vampire movie. Of course I went, but only because it was them and we have a way of having memorable outings.

The movie was stark, lyrical and beautiful...tho at the beginning there is a scene of such quiet and raw horror that Kelly (who was sitting to my left) started expressing disbelief that we had gotten ourselves into such a wierd creepfest. "Susan picked it," she said and we laughed out of unease, ready to never let her forget.

Within a short time tho, the two main characters, Oskar and Eli (pronounced E-lee), had us mesmerized. The cinematography was wonderful as was the story and acting by these two kids.

Afterwards we went to Zaffiro's (serving Milwaukee with same recipe for the best thin crust pizza since 1954) and couldn't stop talking about the movie and how moved we were by it. Go see it if it comes to a university or art house theater near you. It is really just an extraordinary love story that happens to have a vampire in it.

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On the dole baby, and luvin it

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 09:14:39 -0700

Jake naps a lot

Unemployment is really not so bad.

I have settled in to sleeping late, drinking coffee every morning with the dogs, working out and writing fulltime. I do talk to them and myself sometimes, or holler at the TV, but overall I have never been a huge fan of people, so I really spend very little time staring into the Abyss of Aloneness pining for company.

The guilt over not contributing has pretty much evaporated and I find that at heart I really am a slob with very little ambition in the traditional sense.

I have written about 7,000 words on book number one and a bit on the other. I try and spend at least 6 hours a day writing, which if you think about it, is the most productive I have actually been in years -- years where I had gainful employment and took up space and time at a desk. And by gainful, I mean I showed up and pretended not to be totally surfing the internets all day and plotting how to sneak out to Walgreens or Star Bucks for a coupla hours.

Today I am getting a pedicure at the vietnamese place I have been going for many moons. They know your name and if they like you are complete smart asses in broken english. All of the women in the family have gone back to vietnam for an extended visit, so one of the guys may have to work on my hooves. I will never hear the end of it.

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Vignette No. 1

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:21:12 -0700

oh dear I've done it now

OPENING SCENE:

So on our way up to Ladyparts, WI last weekend we stopped in Eau Claire (where my third son is interred) to pay our respects at the mausoleum. When we got there I realized I was ill-prepared...I had not picked up any flowers for his bronze vase. So Karren says "I don't think one of these old guys would mind if we took a bunch from the many they have." Being me, I thought WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? Being Karren she immediately walked around the corner, looked to make sure no one was around, and then took a small bouquet of bright yellow fake tiger lilies from a vase overflowing with them.

My co-worker Dan says that is NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.

Bullet train to hell status: I am now one seat closer to the dining car where I hope to be serving cocktails.

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Tatt Ho

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:52:54 -0700

Oh yes maam it does

Am recovering from quite a weekend. In the last six months I have been working with a non-profit started by a woman in my community whose daughter was murdered by her abusive boyfriend. (If you want to read more pick up this month's issue of Marie Claire magazine or go to their website...the story is titled "Desperately Seeking Becky"). She and I have been cohorts since the day she walked into my office at the Oconomowoc Focus with her convoluted story of murder and mayhem.

I am the president of her board and among other things she is a victim's advocate who travels to all the prisons in the state to talk to inmates about domestic violence. She was going WAY up north to two last weekend and wanted me to come along to get a taste of what it is like. Very interesting.

On a side note we ended up drinking with some local folks who took us to a tattoo party (as you would if spending the entire weekend in a truly Godforsaken corner of Wisconsin). Yes. Of course. You know I did it. Did you even have to ask if I got one?

Shall I write more vignettes from this weekend?

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Back from the Abyss

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:06:54 -0700

I have not posted in eons...thot I would wander back and say Howdy Neighbors. My life has changed a bit and getting through that required a lot of my energy. Another divorce folks. Yes me and the Numister hit the skids last Fall. He became progressively less tolerant of my boys...and you all know that my boys outrank any man...even the beloved side-winding, bush-whacking, no-good-nik bum AKA husband number two.

I am full-on blonde.

I am still working for the state legislature...but hopefully not too much longer.

I have a new non-paying position as President of the Board for the Broken Wings Network.

There's more....will save it for tomorrow.

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Shrink wrapped

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:52:50 -0700

Bye Bye Birdie

Hey everyone! I took a hiatus this summer basically because I could not think of a darn thing to say. At least that would be at all interesting. And in fact, still cannot. Who knew dealing with all my issues would leave me so....boring? Or at least quiet.

I told my therapist that a few sessions ago, and she said that I need to be boring, I must be boring, that boring is, as I experience/interpret it, in fact not really boring at all. In fact, NORMAL people feel like this all the time. Not wracked with fear alternating with swan dives into vats of grief. NORMAL folks don't live in a constant state of near or flat-out hysteria. Who knew?

Can I just tell you I have spent the last few months sampling a smorgasbord of therapeutic delights....eye movement therapy for trauma, hypnosis, inner child work, shame release, reparenting....as well as all the usual talk-talk-talk.

And I am here to tell you I feel good. Not such a prisoner to emotions both old and new. The traumas are starting to fade and dissintegrate. The drama has left my way of thought, and the way I interpret things.

Call me crazy, but that shit really works.

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Do these pants make my labia look fat?

nobody@vox.com(thebitterlinguist) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 09:36:16 -0700

i'm okay, you're okay

If you weren't completely depressed before this rant...please read on to feel the urge to open not one, but every vein in your arm. As if the plastic boob epidemic were not enough...we now have women going under the knife for designer vaginas (I just read this in the news people). To get their unacceptable and hideously not-right-enough labia and such altered surgically...so, what, it's way easier for the husband du jour to pretend he's poking a porn star or little girl? Are you telling me all the generations of child-bearing women before us of centuries, no eons past, were secret and utter disappointments to their men after childbirth?

Who can we blame for this last bit of soul-destroying insanity? Shall we blame the media? The porn industry, now more mainstream than ever? The plastic surgery industry cashing in on some people's complete self-loathing? Naw...let's place the blame squarely where it really belongs...with ourselves. Our collective sisterhood so weakened by foolishness and fractiousness that we cannot rally the troops or bring more into the fold of common sense, and a brand of feminism that strengthens all of us. Sheesh.

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