Can't we all just get along
Yesterday I was "talking" with my dearly beloved about the kids, and some of the issues we face as a blended family. Quotation marks are needed because you and I both know it was more like we were fighting like a couple of tipsy seagulls. Skawking. Lotsa pecking and flapping about.
Yes. Some harsh words were spoken. Yes. I did indulge in a crying jag. Yes. A few social drinks had been had by all. Beers and tears...one usually follows the other in my world. But at one point I do recall wailing, and rightly so............"I am doing the best I can."
So feeling like a Clinically Depressed Giant Pile of Ass this morning...I did some thinking and some reading. And this is what I have decided on the subject (and so it shall be):
1. We are always doing the best we can based on the totality of who we are and what we believe at each moment.
2. Because as creatures, we are hard-wired to shrink from pain and move toward feeling good.
3. However, though sometimes our choices are mistakes, the choosing was not.
4. Therefore, let it now be resolved that doing the "best we can" ought to be good enough for us all.
And so today I declare that everyone (even those we really don't like at all for various very obviously solid or not so solid reasons) just very well may be doing the best they can for today.
Comments
Brilliant.
You're awesome. What a nice thing to think about on Friday.
None of us are perfect and most of us do the best we can, and like you said that's really all we can do.
I think I will adopt your rules!
I used the anecdotal example of a fight over parenting to try to make a larger point about the way we view ourselves and others.
I have found, the way to peace within and in our outlook can be greatly helped by adopting this view, which is not to say we are all not capable of cruelty or sloth, pride, greed, etc., etc....
My faith tells me that there is now no condemnation for those in relationship with God...why don't we believe that and live as if that were true? Why do we always believe the worst of one another?
I am not trying to sugarcoat bad behavior or failure...just to consider a more generous attitude toward one another for a change.
I heartily second that "brilliant" and add a "wise", "bravo" and "here-here"!
at any rate, here is something I wrote as a comment to a post back in January.
"I think it was the actor Charles Grodin (I can't find the quote, this is a rough paraphrase) who said, regarding his upbringing:
"our parents raised is while dealing with their own baggage, their own hurt, their own issues. they are imperfect people and made mistakes, and hurt us. but they were doing the best they could"
this is a thought and a sentiment that has helped to try to accept many of the fucked things in my past. I am a lot less angry than I used to be (still working on it). the idea that my parents are/were a product of their upbringing had never occurred to me, and it has given me a very different perspective on many things."
I think it reflects some of the ideas in your original post. NOTE: I still can't find the cite. I still *think* is Charles Grodin, but I can't $%$)&@ find it. maybe he said it during an appearance at Johnny Carsons' or David Letterman. gah.
still, the sentiment remains correct: do what you can with what you have. there ain't no more you can do.